I Dreamt I’m Gay

By Roz

I Dreamt I'm GayI find dreams to be the most fascinating natural occurrences. Even with many theories from psychologists, scientists, religious figures, translators and more; dreams continue to be mysterious and entertain us to why we dream what we dream. Another fascinating body occurrence is the orgasm, this however is not so mysterious as to why we have them, but they are awesome. Put dreams and orgasms together and you get the sex dream. Waking up from those can be fun, or not fun depending on who it’s with or when you wake up. Most of the time they leave us waking up thinking “Whoa” or “WTF”, pun intended. Dreams truly are incredible and confusing, especially if they leave one questioning their sexuality.

I had many dreams of kissing girls in a romantic way. These dreams started long ago back before I realized I was a lesbian. My first one may have been around the time I was eleven years old and the dreams continued on well into my twenties. I still can remember the one dream from when I was in junior high school. I was laying in the grass kissing a girl outside the school at night when everyone had already gone home. I remember waking up, wanting to go back to the dream, but couldn’t no matter how hard I tried. The dreams got more sexually intimate as I got older. Each time I woke up from those dreams, I spent the entire day questioning my sexuality. I told friends about it and they replied, “It’s just a dream, everyone has dreams like that.” Dreaming that your gay doesn’t indicate you are gay. However, later I realized, my dreams weren’t wrong in this case. Not all dreams are trying to tell one something about who one is. I dreamt I could fly but it doesn’t mean I will grow wings and start soaring through the sky. If someone dreams that they are gay, does that indicate that person is gay? The answer isn’t as simple as yes or no.

My straight friends, both men and women, have had gay dreams, but they are not questing their sexuality at all. They laughed it off as another strange, unpredictable dream. After I came out and accepted my sexuality, my dreams are still surprising. Sometimes I dream I am straight, but I do not wake up craving a man spooning me. Instead like my straight friends, I wake up shaking it off like some strange dream with all the rest. Some of my lady friends and I have had dreams where in the dream we are a man having sex with random women. I can still remember the details of my manly, ripped chest and the way I easily could grab and lift up the woman in my arms. A funny and strange dream that we all had in common but none of us woke up thinking we are transgender and started transitioning. But when I dreamt about kissing girls, I remember something felt very right, comfortable, like it wasn’t a dream.

Years before I accepted I am a lesbian, I woke up from those dreams of kissing girls with those feelings from confusion and went on carrying them, heavy and real inside me. Those dreams could have been an indication that my deepest, raw, honest self was trying to surface. The continuous attempts to try and ignore it was my way of continuing my denial. Those dreams were showing my true feelings towards women, it only took me many years later, many dreams later, and a kiss, to smack the denial out of me. Do dreams tell one if one is gay, or straight, or bi, or transgender? I don’t know because dreams are devious, funny creations from our brains that still confuse many of us. However, if you are questioning about yourself and the heavy feeling I described sounds familiar, it’s possible your dream is your subconscious sending you a message. Or it could just be gas from the greasy food you tossed back right before hitting the sack. The one thing that we all can count on is that there will always be someone who we can talk to about our interesting dreams, and it’s likely that someone has one to share too. Sweet dreams!